Day 1 - Do you believe in God? What religion are you?
My parents raised me in the Roman Catholic religion. I was baptized, made my communion, and went to confession. However, after learning everything I could about the religion itself, I believed all of it was false. I never understood why anytime I went into a church, I would cry my eyes out until I left. There was no explanation except that I felt hated in that building. I was never comfortable in church. I felt as if nobody wanted me there and God didn’t approve of me.
The whole idea of some magical place up above me doesn’t quite fly either. Never did, never will. I won’t put all my hopes, dreams, and beliefs into something I’m not sure is even true. I’ve had that mentality forever. I tried and tried and tried to make myself believe because I knew everything they taught me in religious education, so it had to be true right? Not sure. There’s too many religions out there for me to believe they all happen.
I don’t like the whole, “we accept anyone into our home” thing either. That’s a whole other thing I won’t get into. I refused to make my confirmation because of this matter. I couldn’t give a flying fuck if I get married in a church. I don’t want to get married at all.
I used to consider myself agnostic, but I’m not sure there is a higher power any more. I’ve lost faith in what I believe is true. Fuck it, I’m an atheist. Worship just doesn’t work for me. If it’s for you, I’m glad you have the strength to to do and be proud in your religion. I wish I could be that way.
When I was at Mary’s setting up for Meg’s party, I broke my face.
Sam kept popping the balloons when she was trying to put them up, so I decided to take over and attempt keeping them alive. That failed miserably and one of our last balloons popped. I turned around and screamed, “FUCK!” as I threw my upper body forward, so like, I was bending over. Little did I know, a chair was right where my face landed.
I didn’t notice what happened until a few seconds after because it hurt so bad. I didn’t realize I was bleeding until minutes later.
So now I have this gash on the left side of my jaw and it’s all swollen and it hurts like a bitch. I really hope nothing else is wrong with it, because the chairs had incredibly pointy ends and when I slammed my face, I could have sworn I heard a small crack or something. It’s not that deep, but kinda of deep for something like this. It wasn’t bleeding too much, it just bled for a long time.
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
I really wish my parents knew and understood everything I went through, and everything I’m going through now. I know I’d never tell them. I had a huge amount of trouble telling them I even had anxiety issues.
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are